From This Moment On
by Bagpuss
Summary: A simple Lusan story so that the pair are out of the way for a future Carby. This is my first FanFic so please Read and Review.
1. Reunited

It's the end of a hectic shift in the E.R. Susan Lewis is just clearing the backlog of patients before she leaves. For the past twenty minutes or so she's been trying to chase up a thirty-year-old female patient who came in with a sprained wrist and has since walked off with over a hundred dollars worth of medical supplies. On her way back downstairs she meets up with Jerry from the admit desk.  
"There's a young girl at admit asking for you." He informs her as she heads towards him.  
"Jerry I'm off now. Can't you get her to speak to someone else?" The very harassed looking Lewis begs.  
"She says her name's Susie and you're her - " Jerry continued following Susan into the lounge.  
" - Oh my God - Susie!" Susan gasped rushing to reception.  
"Auntie Susan." A cheerful little girl ran towards Susan who automatically lifted her up and held her close. "Mommy said I could come and stay with you." The little girl began to babble.  
Susan took the child into the doctor's lounge. "Here Susie, I just have to finish up a minute. Can you be a good girl for me and wait here?" Susie nodded. "Good girl, I won't be long."  
Outside Susan turned to Jerry "Where's her Mom?" Susan asked desperately.  
"I don't know. The woman who brought her in seemed to think it had all been arranged. The kid was calling her Janey." Jerry told her.  
A look of panic spread across Susan's face. She recomposed herself and went back to see Susie. "Umm… Susie, can you tell me who Janey is?"  
"Yeah, she's Mommy's friend. They're going away together. Didn't Mommy tell you?" The little girl looked worried.  
"Oh no honey, everything's fine. I just have to fix something. I'll be back in a minute." Susie nodded and continued playing with some toys, apparently oblivious to the distress that her Auntie was suffering.  
"Jerry!" Called Susan, marching up to the desk. "Jerry, what did Janey look like?"  
"Umm… blonde hair, about your height, wearing a skirt and jacket… Why?"  
"You didn't notice anything odd about her did you?" Susan continued, ignoring Jerry's question. Jerry shrugged. "Any signs of drug or alcohol abuse?"  
"She seemed a bit tired, she was pale… Oh and come to think of it, she did slur a bit when she spoke."  
Jerry turned round to speak to someone.  
"OH CRAP!" Said Susan loudly. She was out of ideas and Chloe was missing again. Generally annoyed at the world Susan sat down with her head in her hands.  
"I thought you finished already." Luka commented from the front desk.  
"I did, but something's come up." Susan sighed; just then she felt a tug on her coat.  
"Auntie Susan. I need the bathroom." The little girl told her pitifully.  
"Who's that?" Luka asked casually as Susan got up, taking Susie's hand.  
"Something." Susan muttered under her breath.  
"Pardon?" Laughed Luka.  
"Oh no, sorry, this is my niece, Susie. She's staying with me…" Susan trailed off. She paused for a moment; staring in Luka's direction but not seeing him, deep in thought.  
"Auntie Susan. I really gotta go!" Urged Susie.  
"Oh! Right, Sorry." She blushed. Luka watched as she led Susie away.  
  
In the bathrooms Susan began interrogating Susie for some more information regarding her mother's sudden disappearance.  
"So Susie. Where did your Mom say she was going?" Susan asked the occupied stall.  
"She said she was going away with Janey and her friends." Came the reply.  
"Yes but where did she say she was going?" Susan urged.  
"Just away with Janey and her friends."  
"Did she say how long she was going for?" Susan listened. There was no answer. "Susie?" Just then the flush went and she heard the lock slide across as the door opened. Susie opened the door but didn't leave the stall; instead she kept her eyes glued on her feet. Susan took a couple of steps towards her.  
"Susie, are you okay?"  
Susie's head snapped up. There was a solemn expression on her young face. "She's done it again, hasn't she?" Susie asked seriously, tears flooding her innocent eyes.  
Susan nodded and knelt down in front of Susie. She too found tears flowing down her cheeks as she put her arms around the little girl.  
  
A few minutes later the pair are walking down the corridor - hand in hand. They stop into the doctor's lounge to pick up Susie's things. Casually Susan asked Susie when she had last eaten.  
"I had a whole bar of chocolate for breakfast." Susie told her as she gathered her belongings together.  
"What about dinner?" Susan asked leading her out of the room.  
"No. There wasn't time. The chocolate bar filled me up." Susie told her.  
"Are you hungry now?" Susan asked.  
"You betcha!" Replied Susie giggling a litter. Susan pulled the little girl closer to her and gave her a little tickle.  
Jerry looked up just in time to see Dr. Lewis and her niece leave the hospital.  
  
Doc Magoos was heaving inside and there was barely standing room - let alone somewhere to sit.  
"Maybe we should get something to eat at home." Susan told Susie as they walked in through the door.  
The pair were about to leave when a familiar voice called "Susan!" from the other side of the diner. Susan glanced in the direction of the voice - unmistakably Luka's - and saw him waving and indicating there were seats next to him. Susan led Susie through the thronging mass towards Luka and sat down heavily in the seat opposite him, dropping one of Susie's tiny bags on the floor. Susie slipped in neatly and tugged on Susan's sleeve. Then she whispered something into Susan's ear.  
"Oh yes, I'm sorry." She started "Luka this is my niece Susie, Susie this is my friend Dr. Kovac." Susie smartly stuck out a hand cross the table and Luka shook it.  
"You can call me Luka too." He told her as he gently shook her hand.  
"Can I take your order?" The waitress appeared as Susan helped Susie take off her bag and jacket.  
"I'll just have some hot chocolate." She looked up at Luka who raised an eyebrow. "It's been a long day." She told him in a worn voice.  
"And you?" Asked the waitress indicating Luka who shook his head so she turned to Susie..  
"What do you want sweetie?"  
"Auntie Susan, can I have anything?" Susie asked anxiously.  
"Sure, I don't see why not." Susan replied.  
"Then I'll have cheese burger and fries and a strawberry milkshake." She told the waitress happily. Luka smiled at her, seeing her reminded him of his own children.  
"Susie, do you have some coloring to do?" Asked Susan, Susie nodded and pulled out pens and paper, then settled down to draw an elaborate, colorful picture.  
"Her Mom's gone off again. A woman named Janey brought Susie in about an hour ago. Susie doesn't know where her Mom's gone or when she's coming back." Susan informed Luka in hushed tones.  
Luka looked at the little girl who was apparently oblivious to what her Auntie was saying. "I thought you seemed kind of distant earlier on." He told her.  
Susan opened her mouth to tell him something but Susie's food arrived so she stopped and helped Susie clear away her drawing things. Once Susie was contentedly chomping on her French Fries Susan continued. "Tomorrow I should phone Joe to see if he knows anything. Then what do I do? Contact Social Services and rat out my own sister. Susie hasn't been to school for a couple of months and…" Susan trailed off. She looked at Luka who was watching her with an unsure expression on his face. "I'm sorry. I'm just thinking out-loud. I have a lot to think about right now."  
Luka turned to Susie who was now munching on her cheeseburger. "So how did you get here?" He asked her. "Did your Mommy drive?"  
"No, Janey did." Susie told him in a fairly matter-of-fact way.  
"And what's Janey's last name?" Luka urged. Susie shrugged. "What does Janey's car look like then?"  
"Well it's blue and it doesn't have a roof but when Janey presses this button this roof thing comes over our heads."  
Luka looked at Susan who nodded and asked "What was Mommy taking with her to wear?" knowing it was a stab in the dark.  
"Mommy wasn't just taking clothes, she was taking everything. She took most of her clothes too." Susie told her.  
"Oh my God!" Sighed Susan putting her head in her hands. Susie moved onto her milkshake. Then she looked up.  
"Mommy's not coming back is she?" The little girl asked tearfully.  
"I don't know, Susie, I really don't know." Was Susan's anxious reply.  
  
Susie snuggled into Susan, obviously looking for some kind of reassurance, awkwardly Susan put an arm round her niece and looked helplessly at Luka.  
"I don't have any idea where Chloe's gone. I don't know what she's going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do." She murmured in a voice every bit as helpless as she felt.  
Luka pointed at Susie. "You should get her home." He told her. Doc Magoos was rapidly emptying so Susan called for the bill and began to wake up Susie and help her put her jacket on. The bill arrived and Luka paid it for her. Susan was a little startled by this and she looked at Luka questioningly but he shook his head and glanced at the sleepy Susie and Susan gave up challenging him.  
"Well we'd better be of." Susan told Luka, indicating her sleeping niece.  
"Do you want a lift?" Luka offered. At first Susan began to decline but Luka had a strange pleading look in his eyes, it was as if he was just begging her to let him help. Eventually she resigned herself to the fact that having a lift back wouldn't be an entirely bad thing. She would be saved from the long walk home and from the overcharging cab drivers. Susie was beginning to doze again so Susan scooped up her two meager bags of belongings. She then proceeded to follow Luka with little Susie in tow.  
Within minutes Susie was asleep in the back of Luka's car. For the majority of the journey Luka and Susan sat in silence, Luka kept his eyes on the road and Susan started out at the passing scenery, occasionally glancing in the rear-view mirror to spy on Susie who was tucked up under her coat.  
"What time are you on tomorrow?" Luka asked breaking the silence.  
"Eleven 'O' Clock." Replied Susan turning back to check on Susie who was stirring a little.  
"What will you do with Susie?" Luka queried.  
"I guess I'll get a babysitter. I'm gonna have to spend half the day on the phone anyway." Susan sighed as they pulled up outside her building. "Thanks Luka. For dinner. For the lift. Well thanks. Come on Susie."  
Susie was so sleepy that Susan was forced to carry her up the steps to her building as at each step Susie would trip and stumble. Susan balanced Susie on one hip with her backpack slung over her shoulder and the remaining bag hooked onto her finger.  
Luka watched Susan juggle everything she was carrying whilst fumbling with the lock and key. Luka fought the urge to go out to help Susan and instead watched from the car until she was safely inside and then started up the engine and drove off - feeling horribly confused without really knowing why.  
  
Inside her apartment Susan carried Susie into the spare room only to discover that the bed was unmade. Rather than trying to maneuver around the already semi-conscious Susie she quite simply carried Susie into her room. The day had been testy for her too and Susan knew that wrestling with a bedspread wasn't going to make it any better.  
Susan sat Susie on the edge of her bed and knelt down beside her to undress her, smiling for possibly the first time that night, Susan could remember doing a similar routine before Chloe came back and messed everything up. Susan began by unbuckling the small blue patent shoes, a little scuffed around the toes, and then unbuttoned Susie's woolen cardigan. Underneath was a little white vest. Finally Susan slipped off Susie's denim skirt and rummaged in the first bag. There was underwear, a pair of old sneakers, a sweatshirt, some pants… but no nightgown or pajamas. Sighing Susan eased herself up and routed around in her drawers until she found an old tee shirt she had shrunk. Gently - so as not to wake the sleeping Susie - Susan slipped it over Susie's head and then tucked the little girl into bed. Susan paused for a moment and watched the child; 'so innocent, so peaceful' she thought watching the steady rise and fall of her niece's chest. As Susan went to the bathroom to get ready for bed she caught a glimpse of the clock; 9:32 pm. It seemed like a lot longer, but just three hours ago she had been blissfully unaware of Susie's plight. As an after thought she reminded herself that she never did chase up those missing medical supplies. 


	2. Lost

Chapter 2: Lost  
  
"Auntie Susan. Auntie Susan." Susie urged in an anxious whisper. "Auntie Susan are you awake?" Gradually Susan began to come round, startled at hearing Susie's voice she quickly replayed the previous days events in her head before looking up at Susie with a sleepy smile. "What is it sweetie?" "Will you come and watch cartoon with me?" The little girl asked her exhausted looking Auntie. "Sure honey, you go on in." Susie told her niece as she sat up. "You go on in." Susie nodded and walked out but stopped and turned at the doorway. "I like this tee shirt, Auntie Susan." She told her Auntie. Susan looked at the little girl swamped in the oversized tee shirt. Bare stick legs stuck out from beneath the tee shirt - which came down to just past her knees. The sleeves were past Susie's elbows and the neck of the shirt practically touched Susan's belly button. Susan smiled. "Keep it, it's yours." Susan bleated a thanks and skipped off to the living room. Checking the clock Susan saw that it was almost half past seven. She sighed, 'the joys of children,' she thought. Once she was dressed she set about making breakfast for herself and Susie. Normally she wouldn't bother with breakfast, normally she'd pick up a double latte and a bagel on the way to work, then again normally she would still be asleep! She gave Susie her toast and tucked into her own. Then deciding to leave the washing-up until later she searched her apartment for the diary which she had written Joe' number in. It took the best part of twenty minutes to find and that coupled with the fact that it might not even be Joe's number did not put Susan in a very good mood. Nervously Susan dialed the number all the while scolding herself, what was she scared of? What she was going to hear? What Joe was going to say? She listened intently to the ringing; it went on and on and on. Finally Susan moved the phone away from her ear just as she heard a click on the other end. "Hallo. Joe - " The person began in a surprisingly cheery voice considering she was phoning him at eight in the morning. "Joe. It's Susan." She interrupted "Do you have any idea where Chloe might be?" What? Oh no! She's done it again?" The cheeriness had immediately gone from his voice. "Yes. Susie says she's gone off with someone called Janey and some other friends. Do you know who Janey is?" "Susie's safe? That's good. Hang on - did you say Janey?" "Uh huh. Why? Do you know her?" Susan asked urgently. "Yes. They made friends in Phoenix. I wouldn't know where they would go. Has Susie said anything?" "No, but she knows that her mother has taken off. She says that Chloe took everything. I don't think she's coming back Joe." Susan told him honestly. "Well personally I think Susie's better off with you. I couldn't cope with how needy Chloe was becoming. I should have tried to stop her from taking Susie." Joe paused. Susan was growing angry. He had seen this coming and he hadn't tried to prevent it. Keeping one eye on Susie Susan moved into the bathroom and locked the door. "You saw this coming." She hissed angrily. "You could have done something." "It wasn't my fault. I wasn't around much. Chloe had new friends and she promised me she was clean. I trusted her but she still lied to me. I'm sorry Susan." "You weren't around much? You knew Chloe couldn't be trusted. What were you thinking?" Susan exploded. "Susan, it's not like that. I'd love to be able to take Susie back, I'd love to take care of my little girl but I can't. In the long run Susie will be better off with you, you love her and I know you won't run off and abandon her. You have my full support if you want to get full custody of her. You've always been more of a mother to her than Chloe could be." Joe told Susan. His voice sounded so solemn and yet so empty that Susan couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell her. "Hang on a minute Joe." She interrupted, "What are you trying to say?" "I'm dying Susan. Cancer. I don't have long left. I don't want to fail Susie any more. I love her but if I let her see me like this it'll break my heart." Susan grabbed the hand basin and sat down heavily on the toilet seat. She didn't know what to do or say and so just sat there opening and closing her mouth like a fish. "Oh I'm sorry." She told him. Even to her it sounded empty. "What should I tell Susie?" "Tell her I've gone away. I don't know if it would bother her much to know that I'm gone, she always took Chloe's relapses in her stride." Joe told Susan. Susan knew his heart was breaking as he said these words. "At least let her see you one last time. For your sake at least. I'm free next Sunday if you want me to visit with her." Susan offered desperately wanting to have some control over what was going on in her life. There was a long pause at the other end of the line "Joe?" Susan ventured. "Sunday's fine. Bring her then." Joe told her before proceeding to inform Susan of the details of his whereabouts. Shortly afterward Susan hung up. "Susie." She called "We're visiting your Daddy on Sunday." Susie hopped up off the couch excitedly. "We are?" She exclaimed hardly believing it to be true. Susan nodded and the little girl began jumping around the living room giving out random shouts of 'Hooray' and 'Yippee'. Susan laughed at her before catching her, giving her a quick tickle and sending her off towards the bedroom with a gentle pat and an order to get dressed. It was just after nine according to the kitchen clock (although 10:44 by the VCR - 'Must get round to fixing that' Susan thought). Susan dug out the phonebook and searched for the number for the local Social Services Her throat was dry as she dialed the number and the quarter pint of orange juice she drained didn't help. Eventually someone answered the phone and Susan explained the whole problem to them including Chloe's drug problem and the infamous disappearing acts. As an afterthought she added the fact that Susie's Dad was dying and that she was the only family member left who wanted her. "Well to be honest with you, Doctor Lewis, I think you're right. Susie's definitely safer with you; first you should contact the police and let them know about Chloe, they can inform hospitals to be on the lookout for her. If you're going to see Susie's father we can send you some forms for him to sign to make you Susie's legal guardian. You will be eligible for adopting Susie in three months if her Mother hasn't showed up to claim her. In the event that she does you could have her declared an unfit mother and you should be granted full custody rights. Until then, enroll Susie at school, settle her in at home and sit tight and hope for the best." Susan thanked the telephone worker and hung up before going in to check on Susie. Her things were lying strewn across the bed and Susie was sat on the floor. "Hey Susie. What happened in here?" Susan asked, trying not to giggle - Susie had an unbelievable pout. "I think I left my hairbrush behind." She grumbled. "Here, we'll use mine." Susan offered helping Susie up and positioning her in front of the bed. Gently Susan brushed out all the knots and tangles in the child's hair before gathering it up into a ponytail at the back of the girl's head. "Look, Susie. I have to work today but I'm going to get you someone to look after you. But I finish at seven and then maybe we'll go and get something to eat." Susie nodded understandingly and then began to tidy up the bed for her Auntie. Susan left the little girl and looked up a reputable babysitter.  
  
Agatha Coalfield got up slowly as the phone rang. She swiftly made her way across the room to answer it. "Hello, Agatha Coalfield speaking, how may I help you?" She spoke clearly into the phone. A young woman's voice replied, "Hello, I'm Dr. Susan Lewis, I was wondering if you could watch my niece for me today; from eleven until about seven this evening. I work at County General and I was anticipating her being here today." Agatha agreed and 'mmm'd' down the phone line. "Would it be okay if I picked her up from the hospital at eleven-thirty?" She asked, "I'm visiting my son there at about eleven, you see." Agatha glanced around her crowded living room. All around were photos of her son, her pride and joy. They began with him at only a few hours old and ended with him on Christmas day, asleep with a paper party-hat on his head. Agatha placed the phone to her ear. "Could you provide a packed lunch for you niece? Umm. what was her name?" "Sure, she's Susie. You are sure you don't mind picking her up?" Agatha assured her that it was nothing, "just go to the E.R. and ask for Dr. Susan Lewis at the admit desk. Thank-you so much." Agatha took down the woman's details and replaced the phone. "Well Geoffrey." She told the large ginger and white cat sat on the arm of her chair. "Looks like we're going to have company after all."  
  
"Well Susie, you're going to spend the day with a nice lady named Agatha Coalfield, okay?" Susie nodded, "But before you go off with her you're going to have to spend some time with me at work. You have to promise to be good and stay where you're told." Susie nodded again. "Right, Mrs. Coalfield told me that you need a packed lunch, so what do you want in your sandwiches?" Susie put one finger to her mouth and 'hmmm'd for a couple of minutes before deciding on jelly since Susan had no peanut butter. Susan left Susie gathering her toys to take with her and set about making Susie's sandwiches. Into an old thermos flask she poured a large quantity of orange juice and then dug out a few cookies. "Susie, put this in your bag. We'll get you some chips and a chocolate bar from the machine at the hospital". Susie nodded and did as she was told. "Put our sneakers on and get your jacket. We should make a move. Do you mind walking to my work Susie? We'll take the subway if you like." Susie agreed that this seemed like an excellent idea and was willing to travel by subway so Susan helped her do up her sneakers, guiding her hands as she tied the bows, then helped her into her jacket and backpack. As they headed out of Susan's building and down onto the street Susie skipped ahead but once round the block and away towards the subway Susie's pace began to slow and by the time the pair reached the subway Susie was clinging tightly onto Susan's hand. "You won't let me go will you?" Susie asked anxiously. Susan shook her head. "Of course not honey." Susan reassured her "have you been lost in the subway before?" "Uh huh." Susie nodded and tightened her grip on Susan's hand which Susan returned with a gentle squeeze to reassure Susie that she wasn't going to let her go. Riding through the subway Susan held Susie tightly on her lap. Whispering in her ear at each stop that it was only a few more until theirs. Finally their stop came and Susan heard her little niece sigh heavily with relief, that ordeal was over 'she shouldn't have to go through that for a while' Susan thought, next time they'd take a cab. For the first time Susan seriously considered the psychological damage that Chloe's irresponsibility as a mother might have had on her young, impressionable child. Twenty minutes later Susan and Susie were approaching the E.R. Susie had relaxed and was back to skipping along the street ahead of Susan. Just outside of the entrance to the E.R. Susan stopped Susie and called her back. "Susie, promise me that you'll be good and just sit tight until Mrs. Coalfield arrives for you. You'll stay in the lounge and you won't go with anyone unless I say it's okay. Susie, I think your Mommy is sick again and even if she seems okay and doesn't seem to be trying to hurt you she might do it by accident. Do you understand?" Susan told Susie seriously. She waited for Susie's characteristic nod. It didn't come. "Susie, did you understand what I said?" A puzzled look set fast on Susie's young face. "Is that why Janey and Mommy have gone away? Because Mommy is sick again and Janey doesn't want me to get hurt." "Yes." Susan told her after a long pause. That was the easy way to explain it, Mommy was sick and she had to go away. Maybe when she was better she would come back. Susie knew that when her Mommy was sick she sometimes did and said scary things and she excepted the fact that when this happened she could no longer see her mommy, it was the way she took this with the strange child-like innocence which put her at risk from her Mother's 'sickness'. "Come on Susie, let get inside." And taking the child's hand she led her niece inside.  
  
"It's quiet in here!" Susan exclaimed looking round at the waiting area. It was virtually empty. The board too was also practically clear. "Hey Jerry, it's like something out of a horror movie in here, what's going on?" She asked digging out some change for Susie and pointing her in the direction of the vending machine. Jerry, who was at the admit deck, looked up at her "Oh, hi Doctor Lewis. Didn't you watch the news this morning?" Susan shook her head. "Oh, well until about two hours ago the department was closed. We tried to call you but we kept getting busy." "Why was the department closed?" Susan inquired whilst smiling a congratulation at Susie on her choice of chips and chocolate bar. "There was a fire about two or three blocks away. The department couldn't cope so the ambulances were diverted to Mercy. Since then we haven't had many people coming in, they probably don't know we're open. Anyway, aren't you early? And what's the kid doing here?" "Susie's babysitter can't make it until half eleven so she's staying with me. Where's Weaver?" "Oh she was in the lounge last time I saw her. She's in a bad mood for some reason, I'd stay away if I were you." Jerry informed her. "Jerry can you watch Susie for me?" Jerry nodded so Susan knelt down on the floor beside Susie. "Susie, you're going to stay here with Jerry, okay? You do as you're told and don't wander off. Understand? Good girl. Why don't you get your toys out?" Susie reached into her bag and Susan seated her beside Jerry at the admit desk. She gave her niece a quick peck on her forehead and left her contentedly playing with a teddy bear. Susan walked into the lounge to see Kerry Weaver seated at the table. Kerry looked up as Susan entered and sighed heavily. "Long night?" Susan asked seeing the worn look on Kerry's face and the bags under her eyes. "You could say that. Out of twenty people brought in with extensive, full thickness burns, seven survived. Then one expired in the O.R. and another in the burns unit. We got a call from Mercy to say that they lost three, including a six-year-old girl. What a waste!" Susan immediately thought of Susie sat out at the admit desk. "Out of fifty-four people so far over twenty have died. Who could do that?" Susan agreed with Kerry that it really was awful before asking "Coffee?" Kerry shook her head and Susan proceeded to make herself a cup. "Oh Susan, you wouldn't happen to know anything about some missing medical supplies, would you?" Kerry asked as Susan riffled through her locker. "Umm. yeah. a thirty-year-old woman walked off with them. Security said they'd chase it up." This seemed to satisfy Kerry, so Susan slipped on her lab coat and left.  
  
"Well, Mr. Young. It would appear that the deafness you've been suffering has been caused by a simple build up of earwax. A nurse will be in to deal with you in a minute." Susie told the man sat on the gurney. "What?" The man shouted. "You have EARWAX in you EARS. I'll send a NURSE in!" Susan told him loudly. This time Mr. Young heard her and nodded. "Lydia. Mr. Young needs his ears syringed." Susan told the nurse. At the admit desk Kerry was talking heatedly to Jerry. She moved away by the time Susan reached them. "When's this babysitter going to be here?" Jerry asked Susan. She checked her watch, "Shouldn't be long now." It was only twenty past eleven and anyway she was only upstairs visiting her son. "Is Susie being a nuisance?" Susie looked up at hearing her name mentioned and Susan smiled at her. "No, it's Doctor Weaver. She's not happy with Susie being here. That babysitter had better hurry up." Susan moved on to look at a nine year old who swallowed an eraser. She explained that it would pass in a day or so and then went back to the desk to wipe the child's name off the board. As she walked past the desk Kerry muttered, "Susan, this isn't a day care center you know." "So how come Jerry's allowed to work here then?" Susan retorted, quietly. Jerry pulled a face behind her back as she walked off. Susan was annoyed that the babysitter still hadn't shown up yet, she was almost ten minutes late. She was beginning to doubt whether she should let Susie go with the woman. Briefly Susan debated phoning around upstairs to find out about Agatha Coalfield's son, but then a crash from the doors and a yell of "Elderly woman. Found with her car in the side of a building. Facial lacerations and a query femur fracture. Lost consciousness in the ambulance." The paramedic reeled off. As Susan hurried towards the gurney carrying the stricken woman the paramedic grabbed her arm to stop her. Luka appeared from behind Susan and he and Kerry rushed towards the woman. "Are your Doctor Susan Lewis?" Susan nodded dumbly. "The lady was asking me to tell you that she's sorry she was late and she wanted to say sorry that she couldn't take care of your niece." "Oh God!" Gasped Susan. She rushed into Trauma 2 to see both Kerry and Luka beginning CPR. Before her very eyes Luka grabbed the paddles. Asystole, no synus rhythm. "Her name's Agatha Coalfield." Susan blurted out as if saying the woman's name would instantly bring her round. Susan grabbed a gown and gloves before hurrying to the woman's bedside. "Susan, we don't need you here." Kerry told her sharply. Helplessly Susan looked at Luka who nodded before yelling, "Shocking at three-sixty! Clear!" Outside the Trauma Room was alarmingly quiet, Susan walked towards the admit desk. "Jerry, call around upstairs. I'm looking for a guy - surname's Coalfield." Jerry nodded and picked up the phone. "Auntie Susan. Did you know that lady?" Susie asked innocently. "Not really honey, just someone I spoke to this morning." Susan replied. "It was Mrs. Coalfield, wasn't it? The lady who was supposed to be looking after me." Susan nodded slowly. Susie accepted this. "She had an accident in her car, now she's very sick but Luka and Dr. Weaver are working very hard to make her better." Susan elaborated. "Is she very sick?" Susie inquired. Susan opened her mouth to reply but Jerry held the phone up and waved at her. "The have a Bobbie Coalfield - " Jerry began. Susan made a grab for the phone. "I need to speak to someone on his ward." She interrupted. "Not gonna happen." Jerry told her. "Bobbie died at eleven twenty-two this morning, apparently he was in the ICU and they phoned his Mom because he had an MI, he's in the Morgue." "Okay, thanks Jerry." Susan looked round at Susie. Behind her she saw Luka and Weaver with defeated looks on their faces. "We lost her." Luka told her. "Auntie Susie, what happened?" Susie and her innocent questions were back. "Mrs. Coalfield was very sick, she had a hurt leg, a hurt face and then her heart got hurt too. She was so hurt that there was nothing that anyone could do to make her better. She died Susie." "She died like her son? Bobbie? Was he like me? Was her heart hurt because he died?" Susie persisted. Kerry looked at Susan's face. "This is no place for a child. I'm off now so how about me and Susie go and grad a bite to eat at Doc Magoos." Susan agreed and watched Susie walk away with Dr. Weaver. "Be good." She called not knowing if Susie heard her. "God, Luka. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess Susie can stay here until I finish my shift tonight but then tomorrow I'm on six 'til two - that's at night. What am I going to do with her then?" Susan lamented. "I could watch her." Luka offered. "What?" Susan almost laughed. "Sure, my shift finishes t seven, you just bring her along and then I'll take her back to my place. Or yours. Which ever's better." "My place would be better, I could set up the couch if you'd like, if it would be easier for you I mean!" "Okay then, your place tomorrow." Luka told Susan laughing. She walked away to grab a bite to eat. "It's a date." He muttered under his breath as he watched her go. 


	3. Inferno

Chapter 3: Inferno  
  
Luka stared at his reflection in the mirror. He squinted at the man looking back at himself and then splashed another handful of cold water over his face. He was due round to Susan's place in less then fifteen minutes. They'd arranged for him to go round first thing that morning before his shift so that Susan could give him a brief orientation of the apartment. Luka started at 9:30 and he wanted to create a good impression so Susan felt safe leaving Susie in his capable hands. Fifteen minutes later Susan buzzed in a rather out-of-breath looking Luka, she laughed, "Yeah those stairs can do that to you," and poured him a lemonade. "I've made you up the spare bed, I'm afraid it's not up to much." She told him leading him down the narrow hallway to the spare room. Leaning up against the wall by the window was a bed frame, on the floor was a neatly made bed consisting of two pillows, a bedspread and a mattress. "We had a bit of an accident last night." Susan explained seeing Luka's startled expression. "You could sleep on the couch if you'd prefer." "Oh no, you've gone to all this trouble. I'd be delighted to sleep on the mattress." He laughed. Turning left out of the spare room; where Luka dumped his rucksack Susan cracked open the door. There was a lump in the covers and some tousled hair on the pillow. "Susie'll sleep here with me. Sometimes she likes a story. I don't have any of her books so you can just tell her to wait." Next Susan showed Luka the bathroom - which was opposite her room. Then the living room and showed him which taped she had. In the kitchen Susan explained where everything was and told Luka where Susie's tea was in the fridge. She thanked Luka and then showed him out after giving him her spare key. Once he had gone Susan rinsed out his glass and leaving it up turned on the counter hurried off to get Susie up. Just as Luka arrived at the hospital Susan and Susie were leaving the building. They climbed into the awaiting cab and drove off. Approximately fifteen minutes later the pair arrived outside a nicely decorated school. Around the side and back was a large play area for the children. Susie stared in awe at the swings, climbing frames and roundabouts. "We didn't have one of them!" She gasped pointing at an elaborate set of Monkey Bars. "Come on Susie, let's get inside. We don't want to be late, do we?" Susan urged. Hand in hand the pair climbed the stairs to the red-bricked building. They followed the signs to the principal's office and met the secretary outside. "Ahh. You must be Ms. Lewis and Susie." The woman smiled at them. "Why don't you go and sit down over there." She indicated towards a bench next to the door. Then she turned to Susie "Luann's going to be starting at the same time as you." Susie smiled nervously at Luann who returned it with an equally nervous grin. A few minutes later Luann and her mother were called into the principal's office. "Will it be me next?" Susie asked. Susan nodded and Susie returned to kicking her toes and twiddling her thumbs. Soon Luann and her mother returned and Susan and Susie were invited to see the principal. "Ahh. Dr. Lewis, and this must be Susie. I'm Principal McClane. Well, I understand you are our special case. I've spoken to the social worker and we have all Susie's old records. Susie you're going to be in first grade and both you and Luann - our other new girl - will be in Miss MacPherson's class. I'll give you a tour of the school in a short while." The woman explained. She proceeded to talk to Susie about which lessons she liked and disliked. Then she suggested that they go to look round the school. Outside Luann and her mother were still waiting. "Ahh. Mrs. Chaplain, Luann, are you ready for your guided tour?" Susie shyly hid behind Susan throughout most of the tour; Susan dutifully noted that Luann seemed to be behaving in a similar way. She smiled at Mrs. Chaplain. Once the 'tour' was ended they were taken into the dining hall for tea and biscuits while Luann and Susie sat and made friends. "Susan, can I speak to you in a bit?" Principal McClane asked, and then she was called away by her secretary. "Sorry ladies, please just make yourselves comfortable, I'll be back in a minute." "I'm Susan Lewis." Susan informed Mrs. Chaplain, "Susie's Aunt." "Georgia Chaplain, Luann's Mom." Mrs. Chaplain replied, warmly shaking Susan's hand, "We just moved here from California." The pair chatted for a while until the Principal returned apologizing for her absence. "Susan, could I just have a word with you?" "Sure, see you later Georgia." "Oh, Susan, do you need a lift anywhere? My car's parked out front and the girls seem to have hit it off." "Well as long as you don't mind." Susan told her. "We'll wait for you." Georgia replied before calling both girls over.  
  
"Right, Susan." The Principal sighed once they were inside her office. "Can I just check that we've got everything straight?" Susan nodded. "You are due to become Susie's legal guardian until such time as you can adopt her. Susie currently has no contact with her mother and we have no idea of her whereabouts." Susan nodded again. "I'm presuming that any attempts to access Susie in the school should be denied." "Thank-you." Susan smiled as Mrs. McClane stood up and shook hands. Outside Georgia, Luann and Susie were waiting patiently. "I can see that both Luann and Susie will be valuable additions to the school environment here at Lincoln Elementary School. We'll see you next Monday girls." Mrs. McClane beamed, shaking their hands. The girls giggled nervously and Susan and Georgia led them out of the large building. Once in the car Georgia learned that they had moved into an apartment on the same block as Susie and Susan, they were neighbors! When Luann heard this she exclaimed excitedly "Then we can play together everyday!" Georgia sighed when she heard this and Susan laughed. "Perhaps if it's okay with Luann's Mom she could come over and ply today." Susan offered. This set off squeals of delight and exclamations of "Can I? Can I Mom?" from Luann. "Okay." Georgia resigned laughing and then she suggested, "Luann honey, we'll walk over to Susie's house, that way you can get changed first." Then to Susan she said, "What time shall I come and get her?" "I have to go out to work for six and Susie comes with me to the hospital because my friend, Luka, gets off at seven and then he's staying at my place to watch Susie. I don't mind, Luann can come with us if she likes and then you can pick her up after Luka gets back. Say, about eight 'O' clock." Susan explained. Georgia agreed with her and they pulled up outside Susan's apartment. Susan thanked Georgia and climbed out with Susie.  
  
At the sound of the buzzer Susie jumped up crying, "It's them! It's them!" Susan buzzed them up and sent Susie down to meet them. Both girls made a beeline for Susie and Susan's bedroom while Susan and Georgia chatted over a cup of coffee. After twenty minutes or so Georgia left and Susan set about making the girls some lunch. She could hear various, random shrieks and giggles coming from her room, a thin smile tickled her lips and she thought about how great it was to have children in the house again.  
  
"They're multiplying!" Jerry gasped when he saw Susan walk through the door with Susie and Luann in tow. "It's okay Jerry," she reassured him, "It's only for an hour and then they'll be gone. Come on girls." Susie and Luann followed Susan whispering conspiratorially. She led them into the lounge and seated them at the table. Carter was lying on the couch dozing. He woke up as they came in. "Hi Susan. Who are they?" He asked sleepily, then as his eyes came into focus he exclaimed "Susie!" He recognized the pale-faced little girl from the numerous photos stuck inside Susie's locker. "Hello." Susie said shyly. Hastily Susan introduced Susie and Luann to Carter before checking that it was okay for them to stay in the lounge with him until Luka was ready to take them home. "Luka?" Inquired Carter. "Yes, he's babysitting Susie and Luann tonight." Carter stifled a laugh. "So how long do you have Susie for?" Carter asked. "Until Chloe decides she's ready to have her back." Susan sighed. "Indefinitely." She concluded. Carter nodded understandingly and then smiled as he watched the girls playing together. "What time do you finish?" Susan asked. Carter shrugged, "Now-ish. I was waiting for you to get here." Susan turned to the girls. "Be quiet okay, do as you're told and don't disturb anyone. I'll come back as soon as I can." And then, turning to Carter, "See you John."  
  
Susan marched over to the board; there were nine members of the de Alberwitz family who had singed various extremities during a bonfire, a young child with breathing difficulties - probably asthma caused by an allergy, on one amputation on a man's little finger. Susan stared quizzically at the board before wandering off to find Luka. It wasn't difficult. Two of the de Alberwitz' were arguing, Luka's rich Croatian accent stood out above them so he was easily found. "Is there a problem?" She asked poking her head around the door of Exam 4. "No. No problem. Just a slight disagreement." Came the answer from Luka. "That's okay. I'll send Pratt in to finish up. Luka." Susan left and Luka followed. "You wouldn't mind watching Susie's friend, Luann, would you? Her Mom's going to pick her up at about eight 'o' clock. Susan led Luka towards the lounge to introduce Luann to Luka. Inside Carter was laughing and talking with Luann and Susie. "Sure. I don't mind watching an extra one." Luka replied watching Carter. Immediately Carter stood up, said goodbye to the girls and left part frowning at Susan. Luka raised an eyebrow. "Oh, it's nothing." Susan sighed. "There's a couple of TV dinners n the fridge for the girls. You can raid the cupboards for something for yourself or you can call out for a pizza. I'll pay." "We should get back to work." Luka said, taking Susan's arm. "What's going on with you and Carter?" he asked as they left. "He's not happy about me asking you for support." Luka looked puzzled. "He doesn't want me, he's got Abby now, but he's not happy with me being around anyone else. It's a case of jealous older brother, you know how competitive her can be." Susan explained. "He thinks. we're. he thinks." Luka and Susan shared an uneasy stare. Both looking deep into one another's eyes, knowing what the other was thinking and trying to figure out how they felt. The silence between the pair was brother by the sound of a gurney crashing through the E.R. and the paramedics voice barking out a list of vitals. Luka and Susan flew to the gurney, equally desperate to escape the unwelcome situation. "Mr. Thornton, thirty-eight year-old involved in a head on MVA, open fib fracture and interior dislocation of left shoulder. Conscious." Doris (the paramedic) stated dryly. Mr. Thornton was objecting loudly - and colorfully - about his treatment. "There's nothing wrong with my bloody her. It's my leg and arm you should be looking at!" He yelled, peppering the corridor with expletives. "It's just a precaution." Susan told him following the gurney into Trauma 2. "Can you get a C-Spine done as soon as possible?" She whispered urgently to Lily. "It's okay Luka, I've got it." Once Mr. Thornton was freed from the neck brace and backboard he became more docile. "Mr. Thornton, the X-rays show that your left shoulder has been dislocated. We need to put it back into place, we can give you some more Morphine but it will hurt." Susan informed the writhing man, "once we've done this we'll send you up to the O.R. for an operation to fix the bone in your leg." "Can't you just do it when you fix my leg?" Mr. Thornton questioned, the irritation reappeared in his voice. "I'm afraid that's not possible right now. We'll just pop it back into place then fit you with an immobilizer then you can go upstairs. I promise you, it won't take more than ten minutes." Susan then turned to Lily, "I think we're going to need Luka in here." She whispered. Ten minutes later Luka was standing beside Mr. Thornton holding his left hand loosely, Susan was holding the other end of a piece of material looped under Mr. Thornton's armpits. Mr. Thornton was wincing in pain and over milking his true feelings. "Okay, Mr. Thornton, I'm going to count to three, just relax, when I get to three both me and Doctor Lewis are going to pull. Ready?" Luka explained, Susan nodded; Mr. Thornton didn't appear to be paying attention. "Right then, 1. 2." He nodded at Susan as he said two and they both pulled taking Mr. Thornton by surprise. He began to scream, swore loudly then stopped and thanked Susan and Luka. Outside Lydia, Chuny and Malik stood outside, Malik laughed loudly and held out his hands into which both Lydia and Chuny planted two ten dollar bills before muttering away muttering.  
  
Later Susan saw both Luann and Susie away with Luka before returning to the mad house that was the E.R. With eight hours left until she could leave Susan set to work on the plethora of patients. They suddenly began pouring in at around 7:30. Several of the de Alberwitz' returned after a drunken brawl, a toddler with a reaction to a bee sting, a cut foot, and later, two stabbings and a gunshot wound, not to mention the amputated finger guy who decided to have an MI on the way out and had to be rushed into Trauma. Susan caught a cab home, at least she would be getting her car back tomorrow, right now she was so tired she knew she wouldn't have been about to drive home safely.  
  
She reached her apartment quickly and didn't take long to get ready for bed. Susie was fast asleep and as she made her way to the bathroom she heard a noise coming from the spare room. Glancing round the door she saw Luka, restless, muttering. Susan quietly closed the door leaving Luka alone with his dreams. As she climbed into bed that night (or morning) she tried to figure out what it was that was bothering her - but try as she might she couldn't work it out so gradually she fell into a restless sleep of her own.  
  
Three hours later Luka woke up and headed along to the bathroom. Out of curiosity he poked his head around Susan's door to just check that she was back. She was in a shallow, restless, slumber with one arm loosely around Susie. As Luka watched Susan settled down and her breathing became relaxed, she looked so peaceful, lying there with her chest gently rising and falling and Susie snuggled into her. Luka stood watching them sleep for God knows how long, he felt so relaxed, just being there brought back all kinds of long forgotten memories he hadn't realized he had lost until now. After some time he left feeling totally at ease with the world and slept better for the rest of that night than he had for months. 


	4. Memories

Chapter 4: Memories  
  
The next morning Luka was up long before Susan. It was his day off and he'd agreed to watch Susie once more, Susan was working another eleven to seven shift and was due to pick up her car that morning at ten 'O' clock. At eight 'O' clock Susie went into the living room to inform Luka that "Auntie Susan's nearly awake". Before proceeding to ask if they could watch cartoons, Luka agreed, as there was nothing interesting on the news and then got up to make Susan a cup of coffee. As he did this he recalled his old routine, the kids getting up early on Saturday morning with him getting up a little later to get a drink and take one in for his wife who would still be dozing. As he entered Susan's room he remembered the way he would kiss his wife gently on the forehead to wake her up. "Susan? Are you awake?" He asked softly standing near the doorway. "Uh huh." Came the muffled reply, Susan was curled up and partially under the covers, "What time is it?" "Just after eight." He told her moving closer to the bed. She was asleep on the side of the bed furthest from the door. "Here, I made you this. You want any breakfast?" Luka asked sitting down on her side of the bed. "Ha, I can't remember the last time a guy woke me up like this." Susan laughed sitting upright and taking the mug, as an afterthought she added "thanks" and did her best to pat her untidy hair into place. "Was Susie okay last night?" She asked trying to draw herself away from those deep, dark, intense eyes. Luka nodded and continued to stare into her eyes, she leaned forward putting her coffee cup on her bedside table. He leaned towards her and still looking deep into each other's eyes their faces moved closer together. Suddenly there was a loud crash from the bathroom, Susan tore herself away from Luka's stare and rushed into the bathroom. Luka followed her. Sat on the bathroom floor was Susie, she was crying hard. Susan knelt beside her. "What happened Honey?" She asked. Between sobs Susie told her that she'd been trying to see into the mirror but couldn't reach so she'd stood on the edge of the bath, then slipped and fell. Luka handed Susan a damp washcloth for Susie's head - which she'd banged when she fell - and within minutes Susie was fine again. "Come on Susie. What do you want for breakfast?" Luka asked as her led her away leaving Susan to clear up the bathroom and wonder to herself 'Woah, what just happened between Luka and me?'  
  
An hour later Susan left her apartment; she kissed Susie goodbye and thanked Luka for watching her. She was catching the El to get to the other side of town where she could pick up her car, she reached the El just a couple of seconds too late so she was forced to sit and contemplate what had happened between her an Luka. If Susie hadn't needed her at that moment would they have kissed? Luka had been awkward around her after that 'non- kiss'. She liked Luka but would they be awkward around each other for always. Susan knew it hadn't been like that with Carter, but it was a matter of chemistry. It wasn't strong between her and Carter, nothing was holding them together, but the way she had been held in Luka's eyes. Was there something there?  
  
Susan continued pondering this all the way to the hospital. A trauma arriving in the ambulance bay briefly interrupted her. A man had been shot three times,; in the abdomen, the chest and once in the neck. It had hit the jugular vein and despite their best efforts they were unable to save him. As she emerged from the Trauma Room Susan was approached by Kerry. "Susan, are you feeling okay?" Kerry asked, Susan detected a hint of concern in her voice. "Mmm. I'm fine." Susan replied, "No, really I am!" She added, more to confirm it in her own mind than for Kerry's benefit. "It's just that you seemed kind of distant in Trauma just now. We all understand you're having some difficulties right now - " "- Kerry! I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me. Being distant in Trauma had nothing to do with Susie - " Susan interrupted. "- Susan! You really don't look well. Please! Go home and get some rest. I'll see you on Monday!" With that Kerry clicked away. "But I don't want to go home." Susan muttered desperately to no one in particular. "Eh?" Asked Frank who was seated at the admit desk. "Look. If you stay, can I go home?" Susan just signed resignedly and hurriedly walked away.  
  
Luka tidied away the lunch things. He and Susie had had a simple meal of scrambled egg on toast; he was planning to make a more substantial meal for the three of them when Susan returned. Once the kitchen was tidied up he sat down beside Susie on the couch and flicked through the channels to find something to watch. The VCR told Luka the time was 2:39 (which meant that the actual time was one 'O' clock), suddenly there was a lick at the door behind him, as he turned around he saw Susan. Susie spotted her too. "Auntie Susan! You're back, Luka said you wouldn't be back until nearly bed time." She cried happily skipping over to her Aunt. "Susan?" He began. She put Susie down and with a smile and a nod sent her back to watch TV, then gestured to Luka to follow her to her room. "What are you doing back?" He asked closing the door. "Kerry send me home. Said I didn't look right! OHHH!" Angrily she punched her pillow, "I was just distracted during a trauma!" Luka looked at her, she could see he was concerned. He made a soothing noise through his teeth, for the second time that day Susan found herself locked in his gaze. His dark eyes seemed to be willing her forward, urging her to give in to temptation. A tear of frustration rolled down her cheek as Susan remembered what Kerry had told her. Luka leaned closer and brushed it away, Susan allowed him to leave him to his hand lingering on her cheek, with much deliberation she leaned closer to him and gradually their lips met. Without warning Luka pulled away in mid-kiss. "No." muttered Susan reaching up to touch his face, he stroked back a strand of hair. As he looped it behind her ear he kissed her again, this time it was passionate and intense. Finally Susan broke away, they shared a secretive smile for a few long seconds before Luka got up, slapping the bed noisily with his hands. "Have you eaten?" He asked. "Uh huh." Susan smiled quietly. "Then lets go shopping, you said Susie needed new clothes. Come on. My treat." He cocked an eyebrow. "That is, unless you want me to leave." Susan paused, Luka began to pace around the bed, Susan reached out a hand and caught his arm. "Stay." She smiled. "Just stay."  
  
By three 'O' clock Susie, Luka and Susan were wandering round the nearby shopping complex. Luka's bag contained three new books and two video's, Susan's held nightclothes, new shoes for school and an outfit for their visit to see Joe tomorrow, now they were on their way to choose a new bedspread (and bed) for the spare room, which was to become Susie's. As Susie skipped along ahead of Susan and Luka the pair exchanged secretive looks and occasionally Luka would take Susan's hand and squeeze it tight, she would return this action with a smile and an equal squeeze. They had been wandering around a large department store for about half an hour. Susie had spied them holding hands several times and since she had asked no questions they had become more relaxed and less secretive about their glances. In fact they were so relaxed that as they walked along laughing and talking Luka slipped an arm around Susan's shoulder, she leaned in closer to him and looked up to kiss him when he hissed, "Elizabeth!" Susan looked up and sure enough, leading a toddling little girl and carrying a large shopping bag was Elizabeth Corday. By this time Susie had slowed down enough to hold Susan's hand, Luka moved his hand down onto Susan's back. Not wanted to let Susan think he was embarrassed to be seen with her, Susan didn't move away from him and for some reason Susan's laid- back attitude made him feel calm. Elizabeth was the first to acknowledge them. "Hi Susan. Luka." She nodded, "who's this?" She gestured towards Susie. "Oh, Elizabeth, this is my niece Susie. She's living with me right now." She glanced at Ella, "My, aren't you getting big." Ella giggled and Susie crouched down on the floor before her. "So what happened earlier? Carter told me you were sent home." "I was fine. Just a little stressed out - "Luka glanced nervously at her "- and tired out from adjusting to having Susie here. Weaver sent me home so Luka and I decided to grab Susie some new supplies." Susan explained. Elizabeth looked at Susie and Ella, both were giggling mischievously. She smiled, "We'll let you get on now." She told them taking Ella's hand, "we don't want to hold you up." Luka and Susan called Susie and briefly looked back to see Elizabeth striding off purposely with Ella in tow. Susie hurried on to look at dolls and Luka and Susan took each other's hands once more.  
  
As Elizabeth reached the end of the isle she glanced behind her, a slight smile twisted round her lips, sure enough, as they walked casually on down the isle Elizabeth watched, no mistake, she had guessed right. She paused for a moment to turn back but thought of her and Mark; their first kiss, gate-crashing a wedding with a tango, the meals they had shared, the metaphorical mountains they had climbed, their wedding, Ella's birth, the trials and tribulations they had experienced. With a slight laugh and an odd grin, drunk on her love for the man she still saw in her dreams; her husband, she swept up her daughter and looked back once more. Just in time to see Luka and Susan disappear around the corner. Holding hands. 


	5. Visiting Time

Chapter 5: Visiting Time  
  
Early the next morning Susan and Susie piled into the car. Luka had gone straight from Susan's house to work the previous evening, he had offered to skip work to go with them but Susan had declined saying Weaver would get suspicious. Besides it was only a sixty mile drive so it should only take about two hours to get to the small town of Bristol, Joe was living on the outskirts of the tiny town. Of course Susie was very excited about seeing her Daddy again, she spent half of Saturday night on the phone to Luann talking about it. After the encounter with Elizabeth the day before Luka and Susan had been more cautious but had also decided to see each other providing they were careful about it at work. A smile tickled Susan's lips as she drove along as she remembered Elizabeth's confused reaction to she and Luka being together - it was as if she'd just stepped into some alternate reality. Susan glanced in her rear-view-mirror, Susie was asleep, hardly surprising considering the pair had been up at six 'O' clock. It was now after nine and they were over halfway there, Susan began pondering what she would say to Joe. The visit was, however, mainly for Susie's benefit, she saw no reason why Susie couldn't stay with Joe while she went shopping or suchlike. In the back Susie began to stir, "Auntie Susan. Are we nearly there yet?" I gotta go to the bathroom." Susie murmured sleepily. "Okay Honey, can you hold on? We'll be at a restroom soon." Susie 'Uh- huh'd' and curled up once more. Susan checked her watch to confirm that they would have time to stop for breakfast and maybe even phone Joe so he knew they were on their way. Once at the restroom Susan helped Susie to the bathroom and then the pair got some breakfast, Susan got a bagel and coffee while Susie chose a milkshake and cream bun. After breakfast Susan made an attempt to phone Joe, there was no answer, the phone just rang out. A wave of terror ebbed through Susan's veins; maybe he had collapsed or was dead. No, he wasn't expecting her for another hour; he had no reason to be there to answer the phone. Hopefully. She crossed her fingers for luck as she climbed into the car, 'Please let Joe be alright,' she wished silently.  
  
At just after ten 'O' clock Susan drove up the main road of the small town called Bristol. She could see why Joe had chosen to live out his final days here, in the same way that Mark had chosen Hawaii where the surroundings were familiar. Bristol was just the same, one main street with lots of sub- streets coming off it. Susan continued driving along the street looking for a sign labeled Brook Street. It took two attempts but finally Susan found the right place. "Is this the place Auntie Susan?" Susie asked as they pulled up at a two- story house at the end of Brook Street. "I think so Honey. Can you just wait here while I go check? I'll be back in a minute." "Promise? I'm good at waiting." Susan nodded and signed as she got out of the car. She couldn't see if he was in or not. At the front door Susan knocked heavily and peered in through the window. There was no answer. Glancing round Susan could see Susie watching anxiously. Slowly she made her way back to the car. "Is it the wrong house?" Susie asked. "Umm. No. I think he might be in the garden. Will you wait while I go check?" Susan replied; Susie nodded. The terrible thoughts reentered her mind as she walked back up the path. Susan scooted round the side of the house; she tried glancing in at a few windows, only to find that the curtains were drawn. The garden was overgrown and empty, the backdoor was locked, Susan let out a sigh and continued back round to the front of the house, peering in at windows as she went. "You looking for Joe?" A deep female voice called at her. "Yeah. Do you know where he is?" Susan asked. "Uh huh. He's been pretty sick lately, the other day he passed out at the mailbox. Keeps on getting these terrible headaches, I don't think he's been sleeping too well." The dark haired woman told Susan. "Can you tell me where he is please?" Susan urged. "I've brought his daughter to see him, it might be the last chance she gets." "Oh. He never said he had a daughter." The woman looked as if she wanted to as who Susan was but thought it best not to. Finally she surrendered "Last night an ambulance showed up and took him away. I think he might have had a fall, I don't know who called the ambulance. I'm not one to interfere, so I didn't go out, they probably just took him to Bristol General. It's about four miles up the road." Susan was already making her way back to the car. "Thanks." She opened the car door, got in and started up the engine. "Auntie Susan. Was it the wrong house? Where's Daddy?" Susan asked worriedly. "We have to go to the hospital." Susan told her. "Is Daddy sick? Like Mommy?" Susie asked. "He's sick. Very sick. Worse than Mommy." Susan began in a disjointed fashion. Susie seemed to understand. "It just means that we have to visit him at hospital." Susan continued. "Will he die?" Susan asked abruptly. Susan choked, what should she tell her? "I don't know Honey, I really don't know." She sighed.  
  
The car was parked about six minutes walk away from the hospitals main entrance. Susan was nervous about what she should do with Susie. They approached the inquiries desk, Susan indicated that Susie should sit on a chair and look at a magazine; in the meantime Susan spoke to the woman on the desk. "Good Morning, can I help you?" The cheerful young receptionist chimed happily. Susan explained who she was looking for and when he had been brought in. The receptionist nodded, taking it all in. A moment later she was clicking away on the computer. "Ahh yes." She exclaimed, "here he is, he's on the fourth floor. Take the elevator up an turn left. One of the nurses at the desk will take you to him." Susan thanked the woman and called Susie over before following the young receptionist's directions to the cancer unit. "May I help you?" The nurse on the desk asked. Susan explained about Joe and the woman led Susan and her niece to the private room where Joe had been placed. "Susie. You wait here while I go see your Daddy. He's pretty sick okay Honey." Susan told Susie before moving into the room with the nurse. "Joe. You have a visitor." The nurse told him moving round the clean white bed to check his IV. "Huh." Joe muttered, slurring slightly, his gaze fell upon Susan. "You came. Susie? Did you bring Susie?" "Of course Joe. She's waiting outside." Susan told him perching on the edge of the chair. "I'll leave you alone now, if you need me I'll be at the desk." The nurse whispered as she left. "Joe. What happened?" Susan asked leaning forward to check his chart. "I had a seizure." He explained in a slow deliberating voice. Susan recalled her feelings when Mark died, the way she had never really got to say goodbye. Suddenly she thought of Susie and never getting to say goodbye to her father. "I'll go get Susie - "She started, beginning to get up. "No. Wait." Joe told her. He reached out an arm and weakly grabbed her wrist. His grip was loose and the action was jerky like he could barely control his own limbs. Compulsively Susan sat back down and looked Joe in the face, he continued. "Make sure she knows I love her, always. I've signed the papers. I sent them back. She's yours now. Take good care of her Susan." Joe seemed to doze off. Susan nudged him gently, he was still breathing. Susan quietly exited the room, took Susie and informed the nurse that Joe was sleeping and they would be back once they'd eaten. The nurse directed them towards the canteen.  
  
An hour and a half later they returned. Once again Susan went in first and check that it would be okay for Susie to go in. Joe seemed different somehow. He was sat up, or at least propped up against the pillows, a young blonde nurse was helping him drink from a feeding cup with a straw. He gave Susie a lopsided grin as she hopped over to the bed and sat down beside him. Joe made small talk with the bubbly child asking her about her friends, complimenting her on the outfit she had chosen, talking about the new school she would be starting the next day and finally about staying with Susan in general. At last Susan decided it was time to go, she sent Susie out ahead of her. "See you Joe." She whispered as she opened the door to leave. "Wait Susan." Joe muttered, he suddenly seemed overcome with emotion. "Promise me you'll take care of her Susan. She's my little girl. Promise." Susan nodded. "I promise Joe. Good Luck." And with that she left. 


	6. Truths

Chapter 6: Truths  
  
Three days later it arrived. The letter. Susan had remained distant both at work and around Luka since she had arrived back from visiting Joe. Susie had started school and loved it, for the first day Susan took her but after that it was arranged that Georgia would take Luann and Susie. Susan was running late on the Wednesday when the letter arrived in her box. On her way out of the apartment Susan grabbed the mail, stuffed it into her bag and hurried out to the car. She then promptly forgot about her bag and all the other mail. During her lunch break at half one Susan sat alone reading her mail. Bill, bill, junk, Mom, junk, junk. but there was another one there too, something in an oddly official looking envelope. Susan tore it open and sat with a stunned look on her face. Letting the letter drop to the table she put her head in her hands and shook with sheer disbelief. That was how she was when Luka came in almost fifteen minutes later. He sat down beside her and put an arm onto her back, in from of her on the table was a letter on headed paper reading Bristol General Hospital. "He's dead Luka. Joe died. I don't even know why it's affecting me like this." Susan mumbled. Luka said nothing; instead he continued to rub Susan's back. Gradually Susan's sobs subsided and she gathered her mail, stuffed it into her bag and left. On the way out she passed Abby who was heading into the lounge. "Is Susan okay?" She asked Luka as she poured herself a cup of coffee, no thinking to offer one to Luka. "She's just received some bad news." He told her rising to get himself a drink, moving his fingers lightly along Susan's coat and bag as he did so. "Is there something you're not telling me?" Abby asked as she watched Luka fumble with Susan's belongings. A smile tainted her lips, "you're seeing her aren't you? Luka?" There was no response from Luka who was deliberately avoiding Abby's eye. Smiling to herself Abby downed her coffee and appeared to be debating whether or not to say something. She decided not and wordlessly left Luka sitting in his own silence.  
  
Susan saw Abby approaching before Abby spotted her. In fact, if Susan hadn't called out to her Abby probably would have walked right on by towards Doc Magoos, maybe that was where she was headed. "Abby." Susan had called out in a fairly quiet shout. "Susan, what is it?" Abby replied marching across the ambulance bay. "It's nothing really. I'm not disturbing you am I?" She asked cautiously. "Nah. I just came out for a cigarette. Thank God Carter isn't on today," Abby told her as she sat down on the bench beside Susan who threw her a puzzled look. "Oh he's on at me to quit. I love him and everything but he can't half nag." Both Susan and Abby laughed. "You got that right." Susan agreed. "So what's going on with you and Luka?" Abby asked, suddenly serious. "What. What did he. what did." Susan stammered, then seeing Abby's smirk she blushed. "Well. I guess we are umm. we kissed." She settled. "Uh huh." Abby nodded. "You don't mind?" Asked Susan, sounding almost shocked. "What? No, of course not. Why should I mind? Hah! At least I know I'm not gonna have to compete for Carter." Abby laughed, Susan joined in and for the first time since she'd opened that letter Susan felt her spirits soar. The pair were both still laughing as Abby pulled out a cigarette and prepared to light it when a car driving way too fast pulled up into the ambulance bay. "Help us! Help us please!" The man driving the vehicle screamed rushing towards Abby and Susan. "What is it?" Susan asked getting up and hurrying over to the car. Abby followed suit dropping her unlit cigarette into her pocket. Inside the car the back seat was covered in blood, a young woman was slouched across it with blood covering the right side of her chest. Beside her was a tiny baby boy wrapped up tightly and snuggly in his little car seat, he was screaming his head off and also covered in blood. "Abby! Take the baby and this man inside. Get Kerry or Luka, we need a spinal board and clear Trauma. Got it!" Susan instructed as she tried to find a pulse on the woman. "Don't let Kaitlyn die! Please don't let them die!" The man begged looking desperately between his wife and his son as Abby led them away.  
  
Kerry had seen Abby coming and instructed Gallant to take the baby into Trauma 2 with Abby. It was there that the man gave his name as Jacob Turner; his wife was Kaitlyn and their son, three months old, Matthew. They had just been driving along when Kaitlyn's window had smashed and she screamed that she's been shot. As soon as it was discovered that none of the blood covering tiny Matthew was his own Abby sent Gallant next door to give Susan all the information Mr. Turner had given her. Next door Kerry and Susan were fighting to keep Mrs. Turner alive. The bullet had smashed a rib and caused her right lung to deflate. The woman had lost a lot of blood and was in a critical condition. Eventually the pair managed to stabilize her long enough to be moved up to the OR where it was hoped that she wouldn't crash or later die of septic shock. Thankfully Susan's shift was best part over. 'In three hours', she thought, 'I'll be picking up Susie and we can settle down to watch TV together.'  
  
Luka saw her making her way towards the admit desk to cross Kaitlyn and Matthew Turner's names off the board and he cut across in front of her to talk. "I found some great curtains for Susie's room." He began. "We could pick them up on the way home." "Huh. mmm." Susan replied thoughtfully, as she cleaned the board. "I saw you talking to Abby. About us?" He asked taking her arm and steering her towards the lounge. "She knows, she guessed it for herself. She's not stupid Luka, and you're hopeless at keeping secrets." She smiled reading his frown. All at once Luka burst out laughing, as they opened the door to the lounge Susan pulled him inside and they shared what might be described as a passionate embrace. "Oh don't mind me!" said a sarcastic voice. "John!" Gasped Susan blushing. "I'm sorry." Luka remained silent. Carter laughed, "Don't worry, Abby told. I'll leave you two to it." He chuckled as he made his way out of the lounge. Susan and Luka stared at each other in silence for a while before returning to the powerful kiss they had been sharing only moments earlier.  
  
Although they drove home separately both Luka and Susan met up twice on the way back to Susan's house, once at a shop where Luka had seen the perfect curtains and second at Luka's house to pick up his things. Susan had managed to get the next day off providing she pulled a double over Friday night/Saturday morning, which worked well for her because Susie was staying at Luann's house then. Once back at Susan's house Luka ordered Chinese while Susan hurried off to collect her niece. Their meal arrived and they all sat down happily, like a family. Susie settled in between Luka and Susan on the couch and Luka put his arm around them both. Susan felt so relaxed. She found herself beginning to doze, uncontrollably her eyelids began to droop and she fell into a peaceful slumber.  
  
When she came round Susan found herself lying stretched out on the couch. She could here Susie and Luka chatting in the kitchen. Luka was the first to spot her stirring. "Hello sleepy head." He laughed dropping his tea towel on to the counter and walking forward to offer her a glass of lemonade. Susan sat up and took it before leaning round to tell Susie to go get ready for her bath. Susie skipped off to the spare bedroom, which had recently been appointed hers. "What am I going to tell her Luka?" Susan whispered softly. "What do I tell her about Joe?" Luka looked her in the eyes, kissed her gently on the lips, then brushing some hair out of her face told her "The truth.  
  
Susan nodded and left the room to bathe her namesake. "Susie, you know when we went to see your Daddy on Saturday." Susan told the child as she sponged her. "Uh huh. He had a bad headache that made him talk funny." Susie told her Aunt as she played with the bath foam. "Well Susie. Look at me. Your Daddy got very sick - "  
  
" - His headache got worse?" Susie interrupted. "A lot worse." Susan continued. "He was so sick that the doctors and nurses couldn't make him better." Susie stared innocently into her Aunt's eyes. "He died Susie." There was a long pause. "Oh." Settled Susie after some time. "Are you okay Susie? Honey?" "So I don't have a Daddy any more?" Susan remained silent. "So I can't ever see him again?" Susan shook her head slowly, her eyes were filling up with tears. She allowed a couple to dribble down her cheeks. "Don't cry Auntie Susan. I'm brave." Susie reached out and put two soapy hands on Susan's face. "I'm okay Susie. Really I am." She laughed tearfully brushing bits of bubble out of her nose. "Let's get you ready for bed."  
  
Susan was just tucking Susie into bed, Luka was reading a story about a beautiful princess. It was a Croatian story he had once told his daughter (his son had hated it!), seeing the way Susie's face lit up at certain moments brought back memories. Susan patted the folded curtains that Luka had vowed to put up the next day. "Night Honey." She whispered as she kissed Susie on the forehead and moved to the doorway where Luka was standing ready to turn out the light. "Night Princess," Luka muttered, still lost in memories. "Wait!" Cried Susie, sitting up suddenly. "What is it Love?" Asked Susan. "I can't sleep here tonight" She said making to get out of bed. "And why's that?" Susan asked trying not to laugh at the determined little child. Susan sat down lightly on the bed. "If I sleep here where will Luka sleep?" Susan laughed and shot a glance at Luka who was grinning at her in anticipation of her answer. "Well I think perhaps I might let him sleep with me." She stammered. "In the same bed? Like Mommy and Daddy?" Susie asked. Susan nodded and this seemed to satisfy Susie. Susan gave the girl another kiss, tucked her in and let Luka turn off the light. Luka went on into the living room, Susan stopped in the doorway to look in on her niece. "Will you get married?" Susie's voice piped up from somewhere in the darkness. "Maybe." Susan replied leaving the room with her head spinning.  
  
"You could have helped me out." Susan shrieked teasingly at Luka as she jabbed him playfully in the chest, automatically he grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her close for a kiss, the fee for her release. "I think you did just fine. That is, if you were telling the truth." He told her, teasing her lips. "As if I would do anything but." Susan told him conspiratorially. They shared another kiss and then snuggled close together on the couch, both knowing that tonight they would be safe in one another's arms.  
  
Susan woke up early the next morning, the room was bathed in pre-dawn, blue- gray haze, Susie wasn't even up yet. Susan lay there watching Luka breathe gently making a feather on the pillow dance playfully. Vaguely Susan recalled the night's events. They had flipped through the TV channels until they found a film that Luka told Susan had an unlikely twist at the end. Unfortunately Susan never found out what the twist was as before the film was even half way through they were lying on the couch together. Somehow they found their way to the bedroom and Susan, lying there in the early morning dark, realized that she finally understood why Abby had said that Luka was a very passionate man. Luka began to stir so Susan tore herself away from her thoughts to watch him. He, of course, woke up and instantly realized that she'd been watching him, he could tell she had been deep in thought. "What were you thinking about?" He asked hoarsely. "You." Replied Susan without hesitation. She watched him as he appeared to melt with affection. Slowly him moved forward and gave her a passionate kiss. Just then the door swung open and there, clothed in the old T-Shirt of Susan's stood Susie. "What are you doing to Auntie Susan?" She demanded, climbing onto the bed. "I. uh." Luka looked desperately towards Susan as they both squirmed under the covers, trying to hide the fact that they were naked from Susie. Susan just smiled a look that told Luka that revenge was, very definitely, sweet. "I. umm. Your Auntie. I. your Auntie had - " " - We were kissing." Susan told Susie bluntly. "With your tongues?" Susie shrieked pulling a face. "Uh huh. Why don't you go and watch TV while we get dressed?" Susan suggested. Susie agreed and disappeared without question. "Okay, you win." Luka sighed reaching out for his underwear. Susan pulled the sheets tightly around herself, then giggling mischievously about something unknown to Luka she got off the bed leaving Luka lying there semi- naked. He instantly began to blush which caused Susan to laugh even more. "You get Susie some breakfast, I need to have a shower." Susan smiled, and reached for her bathrobe. For some time after she left Luka lay stroking the pillow where Susan had lain, inside he felt all warm and confused.  
  
Later, when Susie was at school, Susan and Luka picked up where they had left off. When Luka left for work just after lunch Susan decided that she just had to talk to someone about what had just happened. Without even thinking she dialed the number for Abby's apartment. She got the answering machine so she tried Carter's place. "The Carter Residence." Said a lofty voice, which sounded like it capitalized every letter. "Edgar Speaking, Who Do You Wish To Talk To?" "Umm. Hi. It's Susan Lewis, is Abby Lockhart there?" There was a long pause. "Hi Susan. Is something up?" Came Abby's flustered voice, it sounded like she's just ran down ten flights of stairs, 'knowing Carter's house, she probably has', thought Susan with a smile. "Oh, no. Everything's fine. I was just wondering if you wanted to get a coffee together." Susan suggested suddenly realizing that maybe Abby wasn't the best person to see right now. "Yeah, that'd be great. I'll meet you in Charlie's on Fifth Avenue in half an hour." "Okay." Susan winced as she hung up, she knew now that she would have to tell Abby about her and Luka and how it was so much more than 'just-a- fling'. Sighing Susan replaced the receiver and wandered off to find her car keys.  
  
Half an hour later Susan pulled up outside Charlie's, Abby was being helped out of a very large, white car. The pair walking inside chatting cheerfully and Susan secured a table while Abby ordered the drinks. "How's things going with Susie?" Abby asked casually. Susan laughed and told her about what Susie had come out with that night. She realized that now she had to finish it and explain what happened between her and Luka. "And did you?" asked Abby when Susan got to the part about sharing a bed with Luka. Blushing enormously, Susan nodded, "Uh huh." There was a long silence broken by a laugh from Abby. "We must sound terrible." She chuckled, "hooking up with each others exes/" Susan laughed too, After about an hour of giggly, girly-gossip Abby and Susan went their separate ways. As she got into her car and turned on the ignition Susan thought about how lucky she was but she couldn't help be wonder how much longer she and Luka would last. 


	7. Discoveries

Chapter 7: Discoveries  
  
Life progressed fairly normally for the next few weeks. Susan and Luka timed their shifts around Susie and each other and their relationship became more and more intense. There had even been talk of moving in together. The papers came through declaring Susan Susie's official guardian. Susan was happy, wallowing in the delights of a steady relationship. It was all too good to be true. It was.  
  
Two months after the first kiss, Luka and Susan had decided to take Susie and Luann out to the zoo. That was when the first argument arose. It was silly and trivial but Susan knew it was the beginning of a downhill snowball. They had made up again afterward (several times) but soon they were arguing and fighting about the dumbest of things. "I feel so stupid." Susan confided in Abby one day at one of their weekly coffee meets. "Just remember. Luka likes to care, he wants to show he loves you. I'm sure you'll get over it. Even the greatest relationships have some flaws." Susan had agreed with Abby then but two weeks later she wasn't so sure. She found herself relying more and more on Georgia and Tim to help take care of Susie, because while Luka was happy to look after the little girl he found himself becoming more and more awkward around Susan. As their three-month anniversary came around things finally came to a head. They had been out at a party at a friend of Luka's house. Both Susan and Luka got a little tipsy and had reverted to their previously passionate selves, although the next morning they found themselves deeply regretting their actions. "We shouldn't have done that." Susan told him the next day. "What's that supposed to mean?" Luka urged. Susan found herself forced to explain that their relationship was diminishing. Luka agreed, packed up his things and told Susan he'd see her at work. "I guess we'll call it quits then." Susan sighed as he left. Luka nodded and gave her a goodbye kiss on her forehead, he looked very apologetic, which made Susan wonder if she was doing the right things. Scolding herself she decided that, for Susie's sake, they would be better off apart. Within a week Luka's things had been removed from Susan's apartment and although they attempted to be civil towards one another at work they both found that they had nothing to say which often resulted in long, uncomfortable silences, so for most of the time neither one spoke to the other.  
  
"This is Emily Ritchie, twenty-seven, thirty-two weeks pregnant. In labor." The paramedic barked, "Witness to the Hampton Street shooting, police need to speak to her." "Hello Emily. I'm Doctor Lewis. We're going to check you over and then send you upstairs to deliver your baby. Is there anyone we can call?" Emily shook her head then winced at the force of another contraction. "How far apart are they now?" "Less than a minute." "Okay looks like your baby doesn't want to wait. We may have to deliver it here." "What? Why?" Emily breathed. "Well unless you want it born in the elevator." Susan offered, "are you sure there's no one you want us to call?"  
  
The birth was quick but painful. At each contraction Susan found herself wincing with Emily. She reminded herself of the joys of having children around and of the miracle of childbirth, none of it helped. She could feel Emily's pain. No, literally! She felt as if all her abdominal muscles had tensed up, sort of nauseating. Susan stopped and put her hand to her belly before instructing a final push and congratulating Emily on the birth of her baby daughter, who despite being very early, was a healthy six pounds, seven ounces and had an excellent pair of lungs. "We'll send you both upstairs in a minute Emily." Susan told the exhausted woman, "Do you have a name for her yet?" Emily looked down and stared into the face of her newborn baby daughter, she sighed and wistfully murmured, "Sarah, my little princess Sarah." As she was wheeled off 'upstairs'.  
  
Susan sighed and tossed her bloodied gloves into the yellow bag. "Well done." Luka congratulated her as she stepped outside the room. "It was a straightforward birth." She replied stiffly. She felt a slight twinge of pain in her abdomen and a wave of nausea washed over her. "I'm sorry Luka, I have to go." She gasped and sped off down the corridor. "Susan!" Kerry yelled as she passed, but Susan just ran on by. In the washrooms her stomach heaved and emptied, leaving Susan cold and dizzy. Leaning over the toilet Susan coughed a couple more times before heading over to the sink. She leaned heavily on it and stared at her reflection; her cheeks were pinking, she didn't look very ill. Subdued, she splashed some cold water onto her face. "Susan? Are you okay? Weaver sent me." Abby poked her head round the door to the bathroom. "Sure I'm fine. Thanks Abby." Susan replied walking to the door. "I'm fine." She repeated more to herself than to Abby.  
  
Later that night Susan dropped into a late night pharmacy, she spotted the kits straight away but, for some reason, found herself reluctant to buy one. After much deliberation she chose one costing $5.60 and paid for it. There was no reaction from the girl on the counter; no congratulatory smile, no sympathetic sigh. Just a slight moan of annoyance at having to take the ten-dollar bill and hand back four-forty change. Susan put the kit in her bag and tried to forget about it by turning her car radio up extra loud. Susie had been staying at Luann's house, so wearily Susan climbed the three stories to Georgia's apartment. "Hi Susan. You look tired. Do you want to come in for a coffee?" "No, I'm fine. Has Susie been okay?" Susan asked stepping inside. Susan and Georgia chatted for twenty minutes or so before Susan left with Susie. Once back at their apartment Susan gave Susie some supper and a bath, all the while tenderly touching her abdomen and thinking of the package in her bag. "Auntie Susan. Do you have a sore tummy?" Susie asked as Susan tucked her up in bed, touching her belly for the fiftieth time. "No, Honey. I'm fine. Sleep well." Susan replied, hurriedly leaving the room.  
  
An hour later Susan stood in the bathroom. Her hands were trembling and her heart was racing, she didn't know whether to be overjoyed or disappointed. There was a thin blue line stretching from one end of the stick to the other, it's twin stretched out beside it. She was pregnant. It was obviously Luka's. She had to speak to him, not at work; everyone there would find out soon enough. Her hand shook as she dialed the number. She listened to the ringing, the soothing, rhythmic 'brrr, brrr'. "Hello?" Luka's deep Croatian voice jerked her from her thoughts. "Luka? I need to talk to you. Can you come over?" Susan asked, feeling strangely emotionless. "Sure. What's up?" He replied, his mind whirling, 'Was something wrong? Was Susie okay? Was she okay?' "I'll tell you when you come round." Susan told him, hanging up. "Okay - " Luka began and finished realizing that Susan had gone. He grabbed his jacket and made for the door before realizing that he had forgotten his car keys and apartment keys. One hundred and one thoughts were whizzing round his mind. As he left he threw a glance at the clock in the kitchen it said 10:44. 'Susan's VCR would say 9:05,' he though as he climbed into the car. Back at Susan's apartment Susan was pacing the room. She had no idea how she was supposed to tell him. How could she break it to him gently? How would he react? Why had this happened? Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she pondered fiercely what to tell Luka. A knock at the door made her start. That would be Luka, Mrs. Neville must have let him in again. Cautiously she opened the door and let Luka in. "Susan? What's the matter?" He asked when he saw her tear stained cheeks. He reached out his arms to her. She moved away. "I'm pregnant Luka, I'm pregnant."  
  
Luka watched her speechlessly. She was leaning against the kitchen counter with her head in her hands. She wanted to let him comfort her but something was stopping her. "It's mine?" Luka asked. Susan raised her head, she wanted to yell or scream at him. Of course it was his, he knew that, he had to. "Are you keeping it?" Luka felt really out of place. When his wife had told him she was pregnant he had been overjoyed, but now he felt as if he was a stowaway in someone else's body and was watching from the sidelines. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. Luka. I'm sorry." Susan said, wiping her eyes. "Susan. We need to work this out. It's my baby too." Susan nodded. "You don't have to worry. I can manage by myself. I coped with Susie." "You shouldn't have to." Luka blurted out without thinking. "We should have been more careful." Susan decided after a long pause. She moved out of the kitchen to sit heavily on the couch. Luka sat down beside her and took her hand in his. "We'll get through this. I promise."  
  
Two weeks passed. Luka had done all he could to be involved. He'd gone with Susan for an appointment at the clinic at Mercy and even wandered around a few baby shops. Apart from that he and Susan didn't really see much of each other out of work. Susan and Georgia together found a young babysitter named Hannah Shannon, who was willing to look after Susie and Luann at the same time; so Susan no longer needed Luka's help in that department. She was even beginning to grow on the idea of being a single Mom. She did her best to reduce her workload but the absence of early morning caffeine had its effect on her and she looked and felt physically drained. Abby was the first to notice. "Susan, are you feeling okay?" She asked in the canteen on lunch break. "Sure, great." Susan replied, not looking up from the plate on which was the salad she had been playing with. "Susan. Come on, be honest. You know he's not worth this." "What?" Susan looked up sharply. "Luka. Isn't that what this is all about?" "No." Susan grabbed her unfinished meal and made to go. "Aren't you going to eat that?" Abby asked as Susan began to leave. "Couldn't keep it down if I wanted to." Susan stated bluntly as she sat back down, overcome with dizziness and nausea. Knowing what Abby would say next she stared absently at her lap. "Susan? Are you pregnant?" Abby whispered. Tears filled Susan's eyes but didn't leave, slowly she nodded. "And it's Luka's?" Susan nodded again, Abby sat back triumphantly know that she had solved the riddle. "Does he know?" Another nod, "and what did he say?" Susan wiped her eyes, sighed and looked up. "He wants to be involved, this is our baby and it's a part of each of us." She paused "Only there is no us." Susan and Abby sat in silence for a while then Susan checked her watch and announced that she had to go. She left with best part of and unfinished salad on her plate. Abby watched her friends go, sighed and then reminded herself that it wasn't her place to get involved, before finishing her bun.  
  
"Is there a Doctor Lewis there please? A Doctor Susan Lewis?" The self- important male voice at the other end of the phone inquired. "Sure. Yes. I think she's on her lunch break right now." Frank told the man. "Oh. wait, here she comes." He put a hand over the receiver and hissed at Susan. "It's for you Doctor Lewis." She took the phone and feeling another wash of nausea quickly sat down at the desk. "Doctor Lewis speaking." "Hello, this is police detective Nicholas Hooper. We think we've found your sister." He asked her a few questions about Chloe and her disappearance. "Thank you. I'm afraid it's not good news. I'll send someone along to collect you shortly." Then the line went dead. Susan sat trying to figure out what this police officer was trying to tell her, it was bad news. Another wave of nausea filled her, a different kind of sickness, Susan slammed down the phone and ran off down the corridor leaving the few members of staff stood at the admit desk staring after her in confusion. 


	8. Near Miss

Chapter 8: Near Miss  
  
Susan leant over the pan and gagged, a fire-y, thickness rushed up out of her belly and deposited itself in the bowl. She retched again but nothing happened and so slowly, wiping her mouth, she straightened herself up. Suddenly an immensely crippling pain filled her abdomen and Susan passed out in the cubicle.  
  
Chen had followed Susan to check that she was okay. There was no noise from the washroom so she made her way forward to wash her hands when in the mirror she spotted Susan laying on the floor of the stall, unconscious. "We need a gurney in here. Now!" She yelled out the door then she ran over to Susan and checked her airway, breathing and pulse. Susan remained unconscious as she was loaded onto the gurney. Several members of staff rushed to her aide as she was rushed through admit. Kerry practically beat them off with her stick and selected Yosh and Chuny to come in. "Susan, can you hear me? Open your eyes." Kerry ordered. Obediently Susan blinked open her eyes. "Let's get her into a gown." Chuny helped her out of her clothes while Doctor Weaver prepared to give Susan a full exam. "Susan, do you know why you passed out?" Weaver asked. Susan explained that he had just received a phone call from the police and that they were coming to collect her, she mumbled something about the disappearance of her sister and bad news. "Umm. Doctor Weaver." Chuny beckoned Weaver down to the bottom of the bed. Kerry sighed, patted Susan's wrist reassuringly and moved over to Chuny. "Susan, you're spotting. Are you due?" She asked. Susan gasped and her face flushed, she shook her head and sighed. "Are you pregnant?" Kerry whispered. "I've lost it haven't I?" Susan replied avoiding Kerry's eyes. "You know it's not uncommon for women to suffer from spotting when they're under a lot of stress. Just relax. I'm going to get the ultrasound scanner. How for along are you?" "Nearly two months. I think." Susan muttered. "Susan, you'll be okay. I know it's tough but just do your best to relax. Can I call anyone?" "Oh God! The police. Chloe. I have to go." Susan made to get off the gurney. "Susan. Don't be ridiculous." Gently she pushed Susan back down. "You know the risks." Kerry turned to Chuny. "Can you get the scanner and get Frank to call the police to let them know Dr. Lewis can't make it?" Chuny nodded and left. "It's okay Susan. I'm sure everything will work out." Kerry was trying to be reassuring but to Susan it just sounded hollow. "Doctor Weaver." Yosh looked up from drawing blood and nodded towards the door. Two police officers were standing outside. "Thanks. I'll handle it." Doctor Weaver patted Susan's wrist and left.  
  
"What's going on?" Luka walked up to the admit desk. Everyone seemed to have gathered there. "What's going on?" He smiled faintly. Carter was the first to reply, he looked pale. "Susan's in there." He gestured towards the room. "Suspected miscarriage." Luka felt cold and hot at the same time, his chest was tight and he could feel himself trembling. It was like losing his wife and kids all over again. "Weaver's in there right now." Abby told Luka, laying a reassuring hand on top of one of his. Luka nodded. His mouth was too dry to speak. Several people were looking at him pityingly. Without even thinking he began to make his was towards the room where he knew Susan was. "What? Luka? What are you doing?" Carter started to follow him and reached out to haul him back. "Carter no!" Abby took hold of Carter's wrists. "Let him go. He's the father." She whispered. The assembled group watched him go.  
  
Luka entered the room silently. Susan lay on the bed; a pale-faced Weaver sat beside her trying to find a fetal pulse. The door clicked shut behind him and both Susan and Weaver looked up. Tears were running down Susan's cheeks that gave Luka a strange pang of guilt. "Oh. Luka. Really, we don't need you here." Doctor Weaver began. "No." Susan stopped her. She reached out a hand, which Luka grasped and squeezed gently before letting go of Susan's hand and taking a step away from the bed - he wasn't sure if he could take this. Surreptitiously Kerry watched them and in doing so she allowed her hand to drop, she was convinced that Susan must have lost the baby even though there had been very little bleeding. Suddenly a strange, pulsating noise filled the silent air of the room, it sounded like someone steadily punching their way through a room of jello. Everyone looked at the monitor, including Chuny who had been hovering near the doorway. A beaming smile spread across Weaver's face and she adjusted the monitor so that Susan and Luka could watch their tiny, unborn child's heartbeat. "Strong Fetal Pulse." Weaver announced, "Luka?" She turned to face him but said nothing. Susan looked at Luka and gently lifted a hand to beckon him forward. He reached out a hand and took hers in his but didn't dare take his eyes off the monitor in case his child disappeared from the screen. "Chuny, can you call up to OB and see if they have that bed ready yet? Susan is that okay?" Weaver asked, "I'll just give you a moment together." She indicated towards Chuny who slipped out of the room to continue the phone call. Susan looked deep into Luka's eyes and sighed, then relaxed and let her head drop onto his shoulder. "Can you go round to my place and get some stuff for me? You still have a key, don't you?" Luka nodded as Chuny, Malik and Weaver came in to take Susan up to OB. "I'll come up and see how you're getting on later." Then to Kerry he said, "Kerry, I'll stay on for an extra couple of hours tonight, you don't mind if I go get some stuff now."  
  
As she was wheeled off to the elevator Susan gave Luka strict instructions of what she needed, where it could be found and what Hannah (Susie's babysitter) needed to be told, Kerry also told Luka what needed to be said to the police before hurrying into the elevator with Susan and the nurses.  
  
Luka was gone less than an hour. When he returned he found Abby sat in the ambulance bay taking a sneaky cigarette. She seemed to be looking out for someone. "Abby, you shouldn't be doing that, should you?" He joked, creeping up on her, "I'll have to tell Carter." Abby smiled a little and stubbed out her cigarette. "Don't." She threatened. "Carter told me to wait for you here. Susie's on her way in, suspected broken wrist. We haven't told Susan yet because we don't want to worry her." Luka took all this in. "Here. Take this up to Susan. Tell her I'll be up in a bit, with Susie." He handed her a small blue holdall. Abby nodded and started towards the entrance, "Luka, she's right for you. Just hat you've always wanted, and needed. You love her. Don't throw it away." Luka watched her go and turned round in time to see Susie being helped out of Miss MacPherson's car.  
  
"Where's Auntie Susan?" Susie asked Luka innocently. "She's upstairs. I'll take you up to see her soon. Now look here." He pointed at a spot on the X-ray. "See that little black line. That means your wrist is broken." "Do I get a cast?" Susie asked excitedly. "I'm afraid so." Susie nearly bounced off the bed with delight, Luka was worried she'd fall and break the other wrist. Half an hour later Luka was escorting Susie (and her brand new, blue plaster cast up to OB to see Susan. "Luka. Is Auntie Susan having a baby?" She asked, bouncing around and almost knocking herself out with her arm. "I don't know. I do know that she has something to tell you, and Susie - " He paused and knelt down in front of her, putting both hands on her shoulders to keep her still, " - I don't think it's good news. Okay?" Susie nodded earnestly and then looked up to see a policeman and woman emerging from a room. "Is that Auntie Susan's?" Luka stood up and peered through the door. He nodded. Susie sighed heavily and relaxed her shoulders. "Are you ready?" He asked her, she nodded. "Be gentle with her - " He gave her a slight nudge through the door. " - go on."  
  
At the sight of her niece coming through the door Susan's face lit up and her eyes glowed brightly against her pale skin. Behind Susie was Luka. He came in and stood at the foot of her bed and explained what had happened to Susie's arm. "I'll go no." He muttered and made to go. "No. Stay." Susan replied and pointed to a chair in the corner. Obediently Luka took a seat. "Susie. Come here." Susan patted the bed with the arm that wasn't attached to the various monitors and IV drips. "I'm afraid I have some bad news about your Mommy." Susie's face remained emotionless. "Is she dead?" Susan's eyes welled up and her voice stuck in her throat. She croaked a little and then nodded. Susie nodded too and fumbled with the bed sheets. "IS she here?" "No, she's somewhere else." Susan managed. "Was she sick?" Susan choked again. Then nodded. "She got really sick and the doctors couldn't make her better. She was too broken, Susie." "So I won't see her any more. Like Daddy?" Susie asked quietly. Susan nodded. "So you can stay with me now. If that's okay with you." She forced a smile and brushed a tear from the child's cheek. "But you're sick!" Susie burst out jumping off the bed. She whirled round to face Luka. Everyone she had ever loved and trusted had got sick and now they were all leaving her alone in this big scary world, Auntie Susan couldn't get sick as well, she couldn't leave her too. Susie made a sudden dash for the door but Luka grabbed her, lifted her up and whispered a reminder in her ear before setting her back down on the bed. "Susie. I'm having a baby. I'm not sick." She reached out and tapped Susie's plaster cast. "We're gonna need to look after each other." Susie looked puzzled for a few minutes, then she hugged her Aunt; catching Susan by surprise. They hugged for sometime until a nurse came in to tell Susan that there was someone to see her and to take Susie off to play. Once the nurse had gone Luka sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can take her tonight. If you want." He told her. Susan nodded and opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. Finally Luka broke the silence. "Are you keeping it?" He asked slowly in a cracked voice. Once again Susan opened her mouth but thought better of it and conceded to make do with a nod.  
  
"Susan." Kerry Weaver said as she entered the room. "I should go." Luka announced jumping up. "I'll come by with Susie tomorrow." He told her as he left. "How are you feeling now?" Kerry asked, seating herself in a chair by Susan's bed. "Fine. Better." She replied. "Why didn't you tell me that you're pregnant? I could have been easier on you. given you an easier schedule." "I didn't tell you because I didn't know what I was going to do. I was scared Kerry." Susan explained. "But Susan - " Kerry interrupted " - if you'd told us then." "Kerry. I'm pregnant. I'm trying to raise my sister's child. I'm juggling work, life and relationships and I can handle this by myself." Susan trailed off. "You obviously can't if this is where you end up. Look this has been quite a shock to you, take the next week off then you can come in and we'll adjust your schedule. Do you need any help with Susie? I'll be happy to watch her if you need me to." "I'm okay. Luka's taken Susie. She's not good with new people, she knows Luka." Susan told her. "What about the baby's father?" Kerry asked. Susan looked her right in the eye and raised an eyebrow. "Luka? I didn't know you two were together." "We were." Susan sighed. "Oh. I'm sorry. I should probably go. Sorry if I've." "It's okay. I'm fine and he's fine. We're going to work everything out." She patted her belly gently, "anyway, look's like I have the future to think about." Kerry smiled at Susan. "You'll be fine Susan. I'm sure everything will work out for the best." With that she left, closing the door quietly behind her. Leaving Susan alone. 


	9. The Right Thing

Chapter 9: The Right Thing  
  
Susan was awoken from a light slumber. Blurry-eyed she looked at the figure stood in the doorway. The light in the room was dim and she just recognized the shape as being female. "Who?" She questioned the darkness, struggling upright. "It's me,," Abby announced, stepping into the light, "Did I wake you?" "No, I was just dozing." Susan lied. This was followed by a silence in which Susan considered asked what Abby was doing in OB, and Abby considered telling her. Finally Abby broke the silence, "We had a woman go into labor downstairs. Twins!" Abby sighed "I just brought them upstairs. Anyway, how are you feeling now?" "Better." Susan told Abby. "Kerry's going to give me a new schedule and Luka's looking after Susie." Susan paused. "And I'm having his kid." "Susan? Are you sure you're okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine, it's just the way things hit you I guess." Susan sighed. "The girl at the desk said you'll be discharged later in the morning. At about ten." "Oh, what time is it now then?" Susan asked. "Two in the morning. I've just got off. Anyway, I'll see you later Susan." "Bye." Muttered Susan curling up again as Abby left.  
  
"Hi Susan, I see you're up and about. Feeling better?" The young brunette doctor asked, "I'm just going to give you a final check up." Susan slipped onto the bed. "This might be a bit cold." Dr. Sloggett warned as she smeared the cold gel over Susan's belly. Susan watched the monitor as Doctor Sloggett tried to find the best view to look at the baby. "There's the heart." Dr. Sloggett pointed out seeming to forget that Susan was a doctor. "Baby's perfectly healthy." She told her. Susan lay there watch the gentle rhythmic refilling of her child's heart and listening to the soft, pulsating beat it was creating. She smiled faintly and for the first time since she had found out she was pregnant she knew that she was doing the right thing. "Right that's all Dr. Lewis. You need to take it is, okay? Do you have someone to take you home or would you like us to call a cab?" "No thanks, I have to go down to the ER. I'll get a cab from there." Susan told the smiling doctor as she packed her few belongings into the bag Luka had brought for her. "On one condition, I'm gonna have someone escort you down to the ER, carry your bag down there and hand you over to the guys down there and then it's up to them to make sure you get off safely." "Sure." Susan shrugged in a defeated manner, suddenly she felt like a prisoner, the world was moving fast all about her while she stood stock still - forced to watch it pass before her eyes. "Good, I'll send someone in shortly - can you just sign here?"  
  
Susan signed the relevant paperwork and allowed herself to be helped into a wheelchair by a burly young porter named Joshua. She sat in silence with one hand supporting the bag on her lap, the other stroked the round bump that was once her soft belly. Joshua tried to make small talk with her, first about the weather and then about her job. At the elevator they were forced to stop and wait. "That's their trouble these days." Susan heard Josh start up again. She thought of Susie, poor Susie. What would happen to Susie? She would be able to adopt her - wouldn't she? 'Ping' the doors opened. 'Susan, stop aggravating yourself' she scolded, 'you shouldn't let yourself get stressed out'. "You see doctor's always think they know best." The lift stopped on the surgical floor. In stepped Elizabeth Corday, 'single mom extraordinaire' thought Susan jealously. "Oh Susan, I heard what happened, is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked ignoring Joshua and a throwing a concerned look in Susan's direction. "Everything's fine." Susan lied. "And Luka?" She asked not believing a word of it. "What?" Susan asked jumping at the mention of his name, she was so angry with him but she couldn't for the life of her remember why. "I saw you two together, it is his isn't it?" Susan swallowed and nodded dumbly, "Oh, you two. aren't. anymore?" Elizabeth wondered. Susan didn't reply, instead she simply wiped a forlorn tear from her eye and sighed. "You're right for each other." Murmured Elizabeth getting off ahead of Susan and Joshua, "Good Luck Susan. Make sure you do the right thing." Slowly at his waltzing pace Joshua began to push Susan out into the hectic ER department. ". You see. They just don't understand. It's all a matter of timing." Josh continued. "Wait!" Cried Susan. Joshua halted instantaneously. "Thank you. umm. Jake? I can manage from here." With that she hopped out of the wheelchair, grabbed her bag and scurried off towards the Admit desk. "Ahh. Dr. Lewis, feeling better." Frank called as she rushed by, hoping to go unnoticed. "Susan, are you okay? Can I call a cab?" Chen asked she went by. "No thanks I'm fine." Susan replied making for the exit. "Susan!" Carter's voice stopped her dead in her tracks. "What are you doing?" She stopped and caught a hold of the automatic door with one hand. She beamed at him. "The right thing." And left. Carter stood stunned watching her go. "What was that all about?" Abby asked approaching him. "Susan just did the right thing," Elizabeth informed her. The pair shared a secret-all-knowing smile and then continued their daily tasks as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  
  
Outside Susan grabbed a cab. Then sat back and tried to put the buzz of thoughts into order. After a short journey she arrived at her destination - her apartment - she threw some notes at the cab driver and ran up the steps begging 'please be in' all the while. On arriving at her door she took a couple of moments to compose herself and then she put the key in the lock and turned it till it clicked. Then she opened the door.  
  
Luka sat watching TV in the living room. Susie was still asleep; she deserved a lie-in. Just then there was a click in the lock, Luka rose and in a few steps was in the kitchen by the door. "Susan. I was going to pick you up. You should have called." He told her looking at her flushed cheeks. "Where's Susie?" She asked staring deep into his eyes. "Still in bed. Why didn't you call?" He asked finding himself caught in her gaze like a fly in a web. "I had something more important to do." She told him leaning forward. "What was that?" He replied, waiting for the spider to strike. "The right thing." She muttered before leaning into his embrace as they shared a long and passionate kiss. Suddenly she pulled away, Luka followed her lips with his. "Luka. Promise me." "Promise you what?" "That you'll be here, for me - " She placed a hand on their child " - for us." "Susan. From this moment on I will always be here - " he placed a hand a top the one already rested on her abdomen " - for you, for Susie and for whoever else may come along." Susan and Luka leaned forward once more. There, safe in his arms, Susan knew she was doing the right thing. She allowed herself to become lost in the kiss knowing that whatever happened everything would be okay and with Luka's words still echoing in her mind she looked forward to the future and the rest of her life.  
".From this moment on."  
  
The End 


End file.
